My daughter had approached me several times if she could go watch a movie with her classmates on certain weekends, but my answer had always been a "no". And because some of her classmates were even dropped off by their parents at the mall, I knew she always wondered why couldn't she? But in all fairness to me, I would never say a simple NO—I always try to explain her why, to the best of my ability—initiate a conversation and tell some related stories—and let her weigh the pros and cons in the end. Thankfully, she has always understood.
Don't get me wrong, but I would never allow a 10 year old kid to go in a movie house with friends of her age alone, probably even if she turns 11, 12, 13, 14; at 15—it still depends. I even control what my kids watch on TV. I don't blame the parents from allowing their kids in a movie house though—it's a matter of preference and nobody knows better when your child is ready than you do. In my case, although my daughter is mature enough for some things, I also know that she is still so naive about many things. I always tell her that many things will unfold and happen in their own way and own time; no need to rush things—just let me be your guide.
So recently she asked if she could invite some of her classmates to go swimming. And because I knew, I couldn't always say no, I said yes. But with a but! I told her, the place should be just within the subdivision, so I could supervise them. Knowing my daughter as one who always speaks her mind. She didn't fail to mention that her classmates didn't like adult supervision—that they're kinda timid with parents around, especially me, whom they all thought was a terror mom. So I told her: "no supervision, no swimming". I told her that they are my responsibility because she was the one who initiated it, and that no one wants to be blamed for drowning kids, even if there is a life guard.
So the swimming pushed through..
From the left my niece, Aubrey and next to her is my daughter, Pristine, the rest is her classmates.
The swimming pool is just in our subdivision's clubhouse.
Thankfully, one of them was supervised by a nanny and the other one by a sister, so I was able to sneak out for half an hour to prepare them some snacks.
The swimming started at two p.m and I gave them until six in the evening to enjoy the moment.
While I was waiting for the parents to pick their children up, I started small conversations with the kids to at least break the monster impression. In other words, I befriended my daughter's friends because I wanted them to be themselves even when I'm around. And also for them to treat my daughter nicely simply because she's a nice girl. I know for a fact that she had been bullied twice. And they have seen my face in the principal's office twice for the same reason—probably that's where the monster impression come from. In fact, one of the invited kids once severely bullied her. But I am not one to teach her kids to hold grudge against anyone and always believe in giving second chances, so they have eventually become good friends.
After all the kids are picked up, I hurriedly went home to prepare dinner and do my Odesk job. Whoever says parenting is easy, is definitely crazy. haha But I'm not complaining, it's all worth it since everyone in attendance expressed their enjoyment of the day.
I'm curious, what is the right age to allow your children to go out with friends alone?
